Red faces at the spa

‘Aaaargh! What the hell!’

‘Oh God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there: are you ok? I was just told to lie down!’

Such was the auspicious start of my first-ever proper natural pampering beauty treatment which had me as plum-coloured as the paint on the ever-so-relaxing aubergine-coloured walls.

How was I to know that when I was told to go and lie down ready for a Decleur Institute Treatment session that there were two beds in the room, one of which was occupied, and I chose the wrong one!

Ouch!

But here’s the thing: the other client was swaddled in bitter chocolate coloured wraps; there was mood music; lighting so dim even Shane Warne’s teeth would have looked like tombstones; plus the mummified woman had on a mud face mask so she chameleon-ed into the background—some would say it was no wonder that I sat on her legs. And she should be grateful that it wasn’t her head!

Okay, I also have poor eyesight!

Once we’d got over our mutual heart attacks (and mummy-woman had left) I could receive my session: and what an experience it was!

Strangely, well possibly not after the klutz things I do, I’ve never had a proper, pampering treatment before, or even a facial.

I had what was called a collagen mask facial; facial threading (so much better than waxing), massage with special treatments for my neck and shoulders, the most blissful leg and feet massage; and a scrub with natural sea salt, polished off with aromatherapy essentials oils kneaded into my skin.

When it was all over, my face was a tad pink but for the right reasons, and my skin looks great (husband says ‘chubbier’—bad call) without any foundation!

So I am now hooked but next time will look at my surroundings a bit more carefully before I lie down: pride before a fall!

by Janet Doyle